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The Perspective – Fantasy Football Week 4 Recap

I was in Augusta, Georgia last week for the Half Ironman Race so I was unable to fulfill my duties as sarcastic recapper for the league. I hope to make that up to you this week.

In a lackadaisical recap of Week 3, we find that The Majestic Peacocks squeak by Hillis 158-156 to remain undefeated. Nice Matchup Fellas… for me to poop on! Boom? Alright, I’m a little rusty, its been a while… Cut me some slack… Things can only get better from here.

Team WTF destroyed Jared’s team. Jared is starting off, right where we left him last season. Winless and Fantasy Football Rock Bottom. Put down the draft sheet and bottle of whiskey and get it together! Congrats to WTF for getting a “W”.

I joked previously about Zalla’s Ballers not being ghetto enough or not being proper enough. She silenced me by 30 points, 163-133. I just got served. Erin should continue to dominate this league as long as Tom Brady doesn’t cut that beautiful golden mane of his… Oops! <—- Sean tries the indirect SuperJinx! He just dropped some David Blaine nonsense on you!

Ok, remember that scene in Shawshank Redemption, where Morgan Freeman is narrating about Andy Dufrain and the Sisters. Where Freeman says, “I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that – but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile – prison life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Andy would show up with fresh bruises. The Sisters kept at him – sometimes he was able to fight ’em off, sometimes not.”

This matchup was one of those “NOT” times.
NOTLOOSINGTOMYWIFETHISTIME – 159 TEAM LOLOLOLOLOL – 72

Anytime you get doubled up in the scoring with points to spare, thats a bad day. On the bright side, if Parisi can ever start the 2 better performing QB’s on his roster he could crush some beeotches!

Ok, Moving on to Week 4 in the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen…

As in previous weeks, i start with the game that features the highest scoring team and work backwards.

SLURPING PIGEONS (1-2) vs. NOTLOOSINGTOMYWIFETHISTIME (3-0)
206 – 114
Well that was painful to watch. I believe that Aaron Rodgers may have set the all time fantasy football record for points scored for an individual. 69 points for A-Rod2 almost beat 2 teams in the league by himself. Ok, enough braggadocio… Well, just a touch more. Also the Ravens D (38 pts) and Tony Romo (3 INTS = 34 pts) outscored the highest scoring player on NL2MWTT (Hasselbeck-33 pts). A must win for the Pigeons and just a slight hiccup for the This Times!

MAJESTIC PEACOCKS (3-0) vs. PUTABOWEONTHISWIN FORDANNY (0-3)
Another tight fit for the Cock’s. But alas, they leave this battle 4-0. 147-143 over the BOWE’s who limp away at 0-4. It’s serious look in the mirror and question everything you’ve done up to this point time. May be time to start playing weekly matchups and scouring the waiver wire. The playoffs are still a possibility but the light at the end of that tunnel is slowly disappearing.

TEAM LOLOLOLOLOL (1-2) vs. TEAM WTF!!! (1-2)
Crucial matchup for both teams as 1-3 is a deep hole to climb out of, while 2-2 is a new lease on fantasy life!
This game was all over the place. 128-89 LOLOLOLOL wins. Cam scores 44 pts + Cutler who scored 2. versus Eli who registered 33 pts + Wacco Flacco Flame who scored ZERO points… which was dramatically better then Sanchez on the bench who brought (-7) points to the table. Oy Vey! Sadly, LOLOLOLOL still can’t tweak the right starting QB’s at the same time as Vick’s 42 points stayed on the bench. Next week he’ll get it right! LOLOLOLOLOL goes to 2-2 and is looking like a rookie genius for selecting Cam in the 3rd round! WTF!! is hurting at 1-3 and needs to right the ship.

Finally,
WHATCHOOTALKINBOUTHILLIS (1-2) vs. ZALLA’S BALLER’S (2-1)
This battle just champions the argument against HILLIS (1-3) taking Adrian Peterson as the #1 pick versus a QB. Big Ben scores 5 pts, Kolb echoes that with 5 pts. Freeman on the bench gets 29, which is solid, but doesn’t count, obviously. The other issue is 4 quality RB’s with the ability to start only 2. So while Peterson and Matthews perform admirably, Matt Forte and his 205 rushing yards are left to rot on the bench. Just saying. The ZB’s (3-1) get an uninspiring effort from their roster, yet they didn’t need one as they cruise to a 117-82 win.

I wanted to focus on the word ‘Perspective’ this week, as it can provide some relief, tension, exhaltation and angst.
For instance… (This is for the conspiracy theorists in the league) The 3 Zaller teams have all faced teams that have scored only 502, 497 & 485 for an average per game of 126, 124 & 121. Whereas the Pigeons & Poor Jared have faced teams that have scored 617 & 606 which averages out per/game to 154 & 152. PERSPECTIVE. The flip side of that, or the other perspective is of course, even if Poor, Poor Jared’s foes hadn’t lit him up, time and time again, his team has only scored 491 pts or 122 points p/game. Whereas a team like The Majestic Peacocks is just good. They are similar to the Patroits in that the lowest points scored for 4 weeks is 145 in a solid win. They have squeaked out two wins, one by 4 points and another by 2 points, but over the course of this season, a win is a win is a win.

In closing, Perspective allows us the ability to see that a 1-3 or 0-4 isn’t a death sentence…yet. Injured players, shortened preseason and training camps equaling slower starts, etc. Easier schedules in the fantasy league and also easier schedules for your star players in real life.
Also, Bye Weeks are starting in week 5, so in PERSPECTIVE, you may luck out and play a team who has a star on BYE.

Certainly, not my best effort this week. I’m fighting a cold, I’m tired, my feet hurt, I had to come out to work on Sunday for effin* nonsense… So I am writing this in a sour mood. Oh well, next week should be better. Until then. Bite me.