The Commercial Real Estate Alpha Site

This Draft recap is for the Rumble Fish league I am in on ESPN.

This league consists of 14 teams in head to head weekly format. We had an Auction Style draft, so no whining about the players you got. You can’t say, I got the 14th pick in the draft, so I didn’t get a good starting QB or RB, YOU PICKED and PAID FOR each player on your squad. Each team had $200 to spend in auction draft and most of the good teams spent at least half of that on the first 2 players.

Onto the draft recap… I will touch on 2 Impact Players for each squad and a quick mention if they have another. Maybe a sleeper comment or a a WWTT (“what were they thinking”) comment.

P.S. – Since each league in any Fantasy Football system can be customized, ours is standard scoring except TD’s for QB’s are worth 6 points, so a good QB is worth a premium.

Alright, Here goes nothing. Lots of nothing.

Todays Special – (“clever team name dealing with “getting served” and the victims…i mean owners job”) Mojo Drew & Matty Schaub make this team look dangerous right off the bat. Add in a dash of DeAngelo and this team has some fight in the dawg, but not much after that….The best sleeper on this team might be Nate Washington, which in itself sums up the team past the aforementioned, who may have wished to check the box “anonymous”. 0-1 after a week 1 thrashing that has the Health Department looking into shutting this kitchen down.

Dutch Ovens – Always a contender in any league, this team has savvy drafting skills and a focus unlike n….. hey look a squirrel! Turner the Burner and A-rod2 make this team an unwelcome view in your weekly preview of beatings to come. Add in OchoCinco and Dallas Clark and this team is looking solid at worst. Then you see the Arian “Nation” foster pick for $7 and this team may have a shot to theoretically run the table. If Sidney Rice had let somebody know about his hip before Game 1, then this would have been the ultimate team, but for now, we see them doing extremely well. 1-0 after week 1 by crushing his brothers spirit and team by more then 50 points. Ouch.

Noble Square N’avi – I don’t know what the name means. I think it is what the kids are calling crack cocaine on the street these days. Because after reviewing this teams draft, somebody was wearing a big clock around their neck and screaming “Yeaaaaaaaaaaa Boyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” after each draft pick. Frank Gore is a solid pick Fo Sho and until Brett Favre gets a receiver to throw to, V Shaincoe is $$$. Ronnie Brown for $19 bucks could very well be a solid sleeper pick as well. That is where the music stops. When your choices for QB are Matty Ryan and Jason Campbell, you might as well go on a reality show to find a stripper with a heart of gold… errr mouth of gold who will bang you for fame. Hey NSN, look down and tell us what time it is. 1-0 after a week 1 pity party. G-zus, somebody was worse then this team. Won’t happen often but even a 50 year old toothless has been gets some hot stripper ass every now and then and that’s what we chalk week 1 up to. Welcome to reality NSN…

Barnstorm Outsiders – The elder statesman of the league. The Helen Thomas of our league. The Strom Thurmand of Rumblefish. The George Blanda of our Fantasy League. His draft was efficient and economical. He waited in the weeds while most teams blew their wads on 1 or 2 players, he stockpiled his Kaish-ola until no one had much left. Feels very Bank of America stealthy to me. Look, we really like A-Gates and Greg Jennings, but each other player on this team leaves us reaching for antacid. Romo is a solid Qb, but the cowboys offense is just gone… it is not there… where did it go? Did Roy Williams stink engulf the entire squad? Did Wade Phillips bore everyone into complacency? J-stew can be great, but he can run for 24 yards on 8 carries also… ditto for LeSean McCoy (update) his FB is out for the season and most likely his career as well… Steve Smith has a lot to carry on his shoulders. The saving grace for this team might be out of the dollar bins! Austin Collie and Vince Young who costs 100% more then Austin could both be the glue that holds this team together. 1-0 after a week 1 performance against a young and cocky Skigor.

Breakin 2; Electric Legedu – Damn we love this team. We love it like Sunday mornings, like pina colada’s, like crocs. In other words, we love it on the surface, but if the weather sucks, the liquor is cheap or everyone stops wearing crocs, then we hate it. Tom Brady, AP & Megatron all look like good picks. We have a man crush on JerMichael probably because he is like a smushed Jermaine and Michael. Heee Heee!

This team is like a beautiful view of the ocean from atop a very tall and rocky cliff. The above names make you linger on the beautiful horizon just long enough to step off the cliff and realize the rest of the team is nothing but carcasses and empty feelings. Legedu is just a stop-gap in our opinion, unless V-Jax gets traded then it gets interesting. But I do like the strategy of hoarding back up RB’s for handcuffs. Could be big or a big waste of roster space. 1-0 after week 1 and look to make it a 2-0 start. We thinks they do.

$ M.O.B – We give. This team wants to be bad. Not naughty, just bad. Andre Johnson & Larry Fitzgerald and that’s it in our opinion. Now sure, Darren McFadden had a good week 1 and Knowshon Moreno is still upright, but alas, the Fantasy Bell tolls for these two and rest assured, mark my words, McFadden will soon be back to 12 carries for 40 yards and Knowshon will pull a hammy. Why did Denver trade for L-Maroney if they liked Moreno? Riddle me that. Hines Ward is a good guy and will be solid, and maybe Big Ben returns and lifts this team up, but for now, we have to deny, deny, deny. 0-1 after a week 1 in the S & M dungeon. Next he faces 3 horny older men who want to give him the infamous “Skigor” or at least that is what the kids call it.

Carson Rosy Palmers – If there ever was a case for handcuffing your #1 RB, this is it. Welcome to your new role, Brandon Jackson. This team has potential, but it mostly has the potential to be scary bad. Randy Moss and Eli Manning are going to put up numbers, except when Moss goes to Revis Island 2 times and a bye week. Eli seems to be putting up bigger numbers each season so 30+ TD’s is a real possibility. The other question marks are Steve Smith (the Jersey one) Ahmad Bradshaw (the jersey one) and Shonn Greene (the other Jersey one) Hey does anyone think this team should be renamed to something more appropriate, like GTL or the Fist Pumpers or Snooki’s Cookies. Fughetaboudit. Picked up Mark Clayton who we like. A lot. 0-1 after week 1, but closer to winning that game then the end result. Maybe next week.

Mike Vick will Kill your Puppy – Really. Is Saccharine bad for us? Will the Pinto blow up? In the next edition of things we know from 2004 and beyond. We all hate Mike Vick worse then LeBron but apparently not as much as Kobe. Because as we all know Vick may kill your puppy but he won’t do bad things to your daughter…. I digress. P-Manning and Raymond Rice make this team look nice right off the bat, but that is pretty much it. A bunch of other slugs and roster filler and this team is competitive at best. Fred Taylor could be a nice surprise as Maroney got sent packing, but that’s only if Fred can keep his dentures in and not break a hip.
1-0 after week 1. A close win, but a win is a win, unless it is a loss, which in that case, it is not a win at all. Write that down.

Norcal Barney’s – Chris Johnson. Nuff Said. Oh wait, they also got Rumblefish Favorite Marques Colston & Clydesdale Steven Jax. Should be solid team, although most weeks are going to hinge on Brett pulling the Vikings together.
0-1 – Lost to the puppy killers. Whaaa? Oh yeah, Colston and Steve Jax did nothing, Mrs. Mike Sims-Walker brought the donuts and your kicker is a free agent, meaning he plays for no one, gets to spend more time with his family and delivers exactly 0 fantasy points. OY Vey!

Wyld Stallions – Brees, Mendenhall & Brandon Marshall ought to make this team a battle each week. Add in Golden tate, joe McKnight and chris chambe…. I almost made it without laughing.
This team can best be described as the girl who looks smoking hott from far away, but the closer you get, the less hott and more bothered you get. Brees is hott, Golden Showers Tate is nott.
1-0 defeating the CRP aka Jersey Shore Midwest.

Chris Partlow – We dislike this team, because it is named after the owner. Its like referring to yourself in the 3rd person. For lack of creativity in naming his flock, we will be a little more bitter then usual in our critique. Ok, Phillip Rivers, Pierre Thomas & Miles Austin are a solid foundation and add in a rejuvenated Forte and this team looks solid, fo sho. Now put down the angeldust. Hakeem Nicks isn’t going off like again. Maybe once, but nothing like that and Forte will come back a bit, but it’s a good thing he can catch, cuz he sure as hell can’t run behind that line. V-jax could contribute, but only he gets traded by Monday. Good luck with that. And one of our favorite players name plays… Steve Breston Largements.
1-0 after a creamy delicious week 1. Nicks, Forte & the other bit players all came through. Enjoy the creamy goodness now… really soak it in.

My Talents – Ever eat tofu? This is the analogy of this team.. Kind of a bland nothingness. Add in some spices, flavor and you got something. I.e. Maybe Beanie wells adds some flavor, cuz Arizona doesn’t have much else. Jamaal Charles is a tofu burger! Wacco Flacco has potential, receivers and the RB and defense to be good, he just hasn’t been good yet. We thinks its coming.
0-1 after a close beat down. This team will struggle to be .500 this season

Magic in Yo Mouth – Points for a creative name, but immediately revoked the points due to a picture which ruins the nickname. How about a hot girl with her tongue in her cheek. At least something good to look at, rather then your grandparents latest Sandals vacation pics. FYI – Rumblefish League is a proud supporter of your parents lifestyle and we wish them the best.
Onto, possibly the worst team, not only in this league, but in the last few years of this league.
We are trying to look at the silver lining here, and it is not your fault, you are absolved of Jerome Harrison, as he WAS supposed to be the GUY in Cleveland, then Peyton Hillis takes half of his carries and the important ones at that. The goalline carries. So Sorry. Then there is Devin and Owen. Look, we understand you got caught up in the hype surrounding these guys, so you are excused for actually drafting them. As for Cutler, you are on the hook as their will be no country for bad QB’s and we thinks Cedric will mostly be playing from behind and Cincy likes their new toys and has tired of the old ones. (I.e) 85 & T.O. are cool, Running is not. Thank goodness for Wes Welkers and the Ravens D, although realistically we think that was more a product of the Jets O then the Ravens D. Wait until they play a good team.
0-1 after getting edumacated by the Old man! Its gonna be a bumpy ride for you this season, as you try to stay out of the cellar.

The Expendables – We are at a loss for this team. What looks on paper to be a solid team had an epic letdown in week 1. 59 points is like sitting your starters in week 17. No chance of winning, even when your competitor scores 67. OY VEY! Look, we still like you and would like to work on our relationship, maybe see a therapist or get counseling. Vick is a good start….on paper… and seriously, we can’t quit you. Ryan Matthews, Roddy White & Vernon Davis will all rebound or continue to put up numbers… I mean Roddy was targeted 23 times last week! 23 times! That’s big points! If your QB numbers don’t impove then it doesn’t matter if Roddy actually catches all 23 passes thrown to him, you will not win.
0-1 after the flop in week 1.